I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
