I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
