I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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