My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
