I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
