what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
