Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
