Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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