Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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