Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
