Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
