I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
