They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
