She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize