you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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