He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
