Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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