we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The ass gains better be worth it
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize