Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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