i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
