Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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