you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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