This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
