just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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