i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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