HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
