he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
