found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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