I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just want nice things and good sex
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
