I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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