"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
