Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
