I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
