wanna go halves on a baby?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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