im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he puts the penis in happiness.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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