is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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