Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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