he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
