i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
