Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
