I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
