hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
