i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize