Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
