I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
