so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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