Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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