Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
