hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
