He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
