His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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