i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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