I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
