Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
