I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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