dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
