so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
