careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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