I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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