Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
