if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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