don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Dignity is for republicans.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize