All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
