Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
