All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
