I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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