How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
